Born Laughing
by AnimateObsessive
Summary: Pinkie Pie might have a strange array of knowledge, but even she has no idea about her birth...and how it might hold the key to her strange powers...


Magical births tended to go smoothly.

The mare experienced minimal pain or discomfort during the process, provided it was carried out by a skilled unicorn. Those with medical cutie marks, such as syringes or scalpels, were the most trusted in their field. A decent medical unicorn with enough magic could pull off a successful birth almost every time, earning a mercifully low failure rate in the course of their career.

This was a completely normal birth.

A beautiful filly, her eyes a deep, carefree blue and her fur a supple, flamboyant pink. The tint of her fur clashed with the lackluster gray of her mother's, but it barely mattered. There was so much life, so much joy in her eyes from the moment she emerged into the world. The doctor could have sworn, although she later felt it was simply a curious error, that the little filly _laughed _between her anguished tears. As if she was enjoying the farce of being a terrified newborn and could slip out of it any time she tired of it. Despite being a doctor of many significant experiences, Dr. Fruit Bubbles doubted that a filly born into such a dull, unremarkable family could even giggle, regardless of how old she was. Such was the curse of being a Pie.

Dr. Bubbles herself went to retrieve Mr. Pie, who had retired to pacing in the hallway.

"It's a filly," she informed him in that curt, professional tone.

On the surface, her manner and voice were completely normal. However, the gray stallion she was addressing immediately sensed something behind her words. A storm cloud that threatened to engulf that indifferent sky of hers. Whatever it was, she was containing it with ease...but Mr. Pie glimpsed that horrible storm cloud in the way an anxious pony can.

"What is it?" he prompted.

Noting the odd tremor of terror that had come to his voice, Dr. Bubbles deduced that he had seen past her mask of serenity. She was now trapped between telling him outright and keeping it concealed for the time being. Of the two choices, the latter was more attractive to her. To prolong the moment between realization and the actual telling was her dearest wish for this couple. But it was her duty, she knew with great misery, to inform them of everything relevant.

Rather than answer at once, she led him to the room where a tired Mrs. Pie was being kept.

Although magical births are easier on both the mare and the doctor, the effort takes a lot out of both. Dr. Fruit Bubbles, who had already done the spell many times over, had taught herself to recover from the exhaustion with haste. Mrs. Pie, however, had only experienced this once in her entire life. It was a very strange thing to be a part of, and something she certainly could never transmit into actual words. She was now sitting up in bed and holding her newborn daughter, a slight smile on her features. To both parents, the filly appeared to be an utterly common baby with no outstanding features except the color of her fur.

Dr. Bubbles now acted with haste, rather than hesitation. The sooner it was over and done with, the sooner decisions could be made.

"I'm afraid your daughter has an infected horn."

Igneous Rock and Cloudy Quartz stared blankly, uncomprehending.

"It's a very rare, but very serious, infection that appears at birth. Notice how odd her horn looks?"

Both parents turned their gazes to the horn that protruded casually from the tiny forehead of their newborn unicorn filly. Now that they took the time to analyze it closely, they realized there was indeed subtle discoloration. It was as if someone had taken a brush and clumsily attempted to alter the pink hue. It would have been of amusing interest if it wasn't for the doctor's chilling words.

"Her horn will have to be removed. Otherwise the infection will spread and she won't survive its effects. She might lose her magic entirely once the horn is removed. The horn is, after all, a sort of "wand" used to direct magic for a unicorn. Or..."

She halted for a moment, her eyes not wavering from a silent Mr. and Mrs. Pie.

"...the operation could cause her magic to consume her from the inside. It's a risk either way. Operations like this are very rare, and frankly the effects can be unpredictable."

A chilly quiet descended over the room.

The newest member of the Pie family opened her small eyes, staring with some interest at the adults gathered around her.

At last, Mr. Pie asked quietly,

"How long will the operation take?"

It was an efficient, quick procedure.

The baby only awakened once in the ten minutes. And even then she only cast an inquiring eye at the unicorn standing over her. She was suspended in her own calm bubble of magic, viewing everything from inside a delightful haze. Her only concern was how pleasantly sapphire everything appeared from inside her magical cocoon, the serious faces of all the adults so different from how they looked before. Only in the back of her young mind was she aware of another type of magic pressing down upon her. The slightest twinge of pain, so slight she couldn't even identify it as such. Followed by an unfamiliar rush of loss that she allowed to pass underneath her notice. She was once, for the briefest of seconds, convinced that something was tugging at the inside of her skull. But by the time she thought to focus on this bizarre feeling, a wave of artificial comfort had washed it from her mind.

This was not the first time Dr. Bubbles had removed a horn. Or wings. Or any other part of a pony's body, essential or otherwise. Regardless, the anxiety of Mr. and Mrs. Pie ensnared her like a sort of germ the second she began. Throughout the entire operation, her magic continuously felt like it was slipping from her control. When she got a firm grip on it, a flash of nervousness nearly toppled it within seconds.

Finally, she was able to relax herself as it came to an end.

The little filly looked none the worse for wear from the experience. In fact, there was nothing to show there had even _been _an experience. Her body appeared flawlessly untouched. The only thing to prove that anything of importance had taken place was the absence of a horn on her small forehead. Anyone gazing at her now could swear she was a mere earth pony. The unicorn in her had gone forever.

Once it was confirmed that the baby was healthy, she was returned to the happy arms of Mrs. Pie.

"It's not as if she'll know she was ever a unicorn," Mr. Pie commented, speaking of his daughter. "And she _isn't _a unicorn anymore, is she? She's...just an earth pony."

What he meant, although neither he nor his wife actually said it, was that there was no reason for them to reveal any of this to her once she was older. Naturally, there was no real point in telling her of the ordeal. She would live her life as an earth pony alongside her earth pony parents. She could survive without knowing of her great-great-great-grandmother Sediment's marriage to a unicorn. And even if she did uncover this information, she was unlikely to figure anything out from it. In her mind, she had always been a simple earth pony.

"What should we name her?" Mrs. Pie queried thoughtfully.

Her husband's eyes swept over the cheerfully pink fur, the tuft of pink hair, and the sleeping eyes of the newborn.

"Pinkamena."

A smile spread across his wife's features once again.

"Pinkamena Diane Pie."

Pinkamena Diane Pie slept on, oblivious.


End file.
